EL UNCLASSICO AT HEATH LANE

Real Bosworth versus FC Barwellcelona, after last week’s call off saw the local derby El Unclassico finally get going.

3G Pitch | Ibiza in the changing rooms | Interim boss chaos was the headline news.

The Arrival – Confidence High, Reality Pending

The Vets rolled in one by one, assembling in the car park like a budget tactical summit. The expectation? A well-drilled side… with Spanish flair as we faced FC Barwellcelona.

Spoiler alert: they were well-drilled.

The Spanish flair? Optional.

The result? Painful.

Big Boss Eddy was unavailable (thoughts with him and the family), so the managerial clipboard was handed to the untested Griffo — a decision that will be debated for generations.

Team News & Dressing Room Energy

Griffo bravely ruled himself out with a continuous foot injury. Scott’s reaction reportedly improved squad morale by 37%.

Meanwhile, the opposition’s dressing room was shaking the foundations with tunes pumping through the walls. We thought it was confidence. Turns out… it was a warning.

Scott also briefly went missing during warm-up duties (local daisies fully watered).

First Half – Hanging On

Started 4-4-2 on a tight 3G and looked organised early doors, then the opposition striker started drifting around like he owned the place.

The Bozzy midfield began to look like it needed extra staff. Griffo’s tactical assistant Jono who was ruled out with injury, took his place on the opposite side of the pitch and was possibly communicating that message through a headset.

Chad eventually located the pitch (after what can only be described as a SatNav malfunction), joined Griffo, and the pair concluded:

“Let’s just get to half-time at 0-0.”

Unfortunately, the oppo had other ideas and almost took the lead a number of times but some poor finishing saw us get through the first 40 unscathed.

Then came the tactical switch – 3-5-2 & hope. Chinese Lee was worried, Chad was unsure if defensively it would cause issues down the sides but Griffo ruled with an iron fist, asked if the defence were comfortable with going to a 3 and went with it.

After approximately 20 pages of discussion and a brief flirtation with a “box formation,” the switch to 3-5-2 was made.

It looked promising, very promising indeed.

1-0 Bosworth - Willsy broke through, a deft touch took a defender out of play and he finished with aplomb. A tidy finish and good build up.

2-0 Bosworth - Griffo sounded like Dr Emmett Brown and said “Great Scott” and it was the midfield maestro who smashed the ball home, a clinical counter which eventually found its way to the back post.

3-0 Bosworth – A bullet header from Nath. Game done.

To be fair, the lads took their chances well and could have extended the lead by a few more with a couple of chances for Nath, a few shots from distance from Scott and Jack with Double D upfront keeping themselves busy. It was proper cup performance from Market Bosworth.

Celebrating Our Third

Subs & Side Stories

Matchett returned and put a shift in. Found himself so far forward at times, he was suffering nosebleeds.

Lee entered dressed like a Winter Olympic reserve. Tights and all, just missing the ski mask.

Taco Dave earned himself the Janitor nickname as he mopped things up in the middle, he was looking to redeem himself after struggling last game following a dad’s v lads game the day before, the children are aged 7.

Jono, somehow ran away quicker when asked to take the flag than he does on the pitch. A medical mystery.

Despite a tough first half, the lads kept battling and deserved the result. Some big blocks from the defence, Jimbo had the safest hands in Barwell and we had the creativity in attack to get the goals needed.

Controversial VAR Review

VAR Check - Height

There has been some debate, is Carl the smallest player in the league, following a controversial VAR call we got the lines out and confirm this is not the case, currently holding 1cm over the FC Barwellcelona Winger.

Lines Drawn

Post-Match

Back to the oppo’s local for food and drinks. The chef looked oddly familiar. No one could place him. Might’ve been on MasterChef. Might’ve fitted your boiler last year. Rumours of it being ex Darts Pro Andy Fordham were unfounded.

Man of the Match

Canavan & Dicko – Both played a huge part in today’s victory, solid and committed to keep the sheet clean. Couldn’t fault the effort.

Final Word

AFC Market Bosworth deserved it on the day — clinical, organised, and up for it from the first beat of the dressing-room playlist.

The Vets live to fight another cup tie.

And next time…

We’re bringing the speaker.

FC Barwellcelona 0 – 3 AFC Market Bosworth